Category: For Couples

Very few things, if any, have managed to generate as much interest and excitement in human societies as sex. Talking of sex, there are so many forms and variations and today, we are going to focus on one of them – the one that is referred to as cunnilingus. As it so happens, this is one of the most interesting topics to be discussed in everything connected to sex.

What is Cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus is a form of oral sex that is carried out by an individual on the private parts of a lady. The private parts in this regard refer to the vagina, the clitoris, labia minora, labia majora, and others. As a result of the fact that the clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman, cunnilingus often leads to intense sexual arousal or the climax in an orgasm. The clitoris is this sensitive because of the abundance of nerve endings in the region.

The name ‘cunnilingus’ has an interesting origin. It is a derivation of the Latin words cunnus and lingo. The former means vulva while the latter is translated to mean ‘to lick’. So, the term itself can be loosely translated to mean licking the vulva. Whether a woman is in a homosexual or heterosexual relationship, cunnilingus is often a very important aspect of her sexual life. The reason for this is that most women will not achieve orgasm unless they have their clitorises stimulated directly. While the penis does a good job of that, it appears that the mouth can do an excellent job with clitoral stimulation. Many women also find it a lot easier for them to achieve orgasm via cunnilingus than any other type of sex.

How is Cunnilingus Done?

Now that cunnilingus has been defined, we are going to zoom in on exactly how it is carried out. For those who take part in it, cunnilingus can be intensely stimulating. It can also be carried out by a lover or partner as part of the foreplay before penetrative intercourse is done. However, cunnilingus on its can stand alone as an act of eroticism or physical intimacy.

In a session of cunnilingus, the recipient female can use her hands or a toy to open up the labia majora so that the clitoris can be exposed for proper stimulation with the tongue and lips of the giver (that is the person who is going to perform the very act of cunnilingus, the giver can be male or female). In order to be able to have easy access to the entire genital area, the lady will have to open her legs really wide. This allows the giver to work his or her mouth very well all over the clitoris and other parts of the vulva. The giver can commence the session straight by licking the clitoris.

However, there are some other techniques in which the giver is advised to adopt a general approach and also stimulate not just the clitoris but also focus on other areas of the female genitalia too. Different parts of the tongue should be used during the process but that does not stop the giver from also making use of the lips, chin, nose and even the teeth. The movement can vary in speed and pressure, the important thing is to pay attention to the reactions of the recipients. In doing so, the giver is able to quickly know when he or she is hitting the right spots.

In order to make the whole act of cunnilingus even more interesting, it can be followed simultaneously by the fingering of the anus or the vagina. A sex toy can also be used for the penetration of the vagina or stimulation of the area known as the G-spot. All these are done alongside the oral action so the recipient is going to be subjected to fantastic stimuli from different angles and nothing can be more thrilling than that.

Just to recap, if you are the giver, this is how you are going to take the lady to the highest levels of pleasure. Open up her labia, spread them and start by licking the area just above her clitoris. Then use your index finger to stroke the area as you use your tongue to lick it in an upward-downward-upward direction.

Once you notice that she is getting really aroused, then you can insert one finger while also making use of your tongue and at that point, she cannot resist going gaga. Avoid making attempts to use your tongue or finger as a penis. Instead, direct actions of your tongue right on her G-spot. To add more stimulation, use your free hand to fondle her breast, play with her nipples, grab her buttocks and rub your hand on her belly.

But these are just suggestions and can work for some women and not work for others. The best step to take is to actually ask the lady which style she prefers. There are ladies who just want the man to use only his tongue and nothing else. On the other hand, there are some other women who prefer that the man makes use of not just his tongue but also his hands and even a sex toy.
It is always a good idea to communicate with your partner to know the best technique that thrills them the most then you can focus on those recommended moves they want from you. Do not just assume you know what your partner likes in cunnilingus or any other form of sexual activity for that matter. There is absolutely no need for you to be shy or reluctant to discuss this with your lover and partner. Even if she happens to be the shy type, take your time to discuss with her then start and let the excitement build up gradually until it gets to a climax.

Positions Used in Cunnilingus

During the session of cunnilingus, the giver is able to gain access to the genitals of the recipient by making use of several sex positions. These include the following styles which are regularly employed during cunnilingus:

69

In this style, both partners are able to stimulate each other because their mouths are placed over each other’s genital areas and it is the shape they form that gave the position its name.

Spread Eagle

In this style, the female recipient is lying with her hands and legs wide open and fully outstretched. Thus, it is very easy for the giver to get down to it and start the job.

Doggy

This sex position is one of the most popular among lovers of cunnilingus. The lady maintains the doggy position while the man or giver gets to ‘eat her up’ from the rear or from beneath.

Face Sitting

Just as the name implies, in this style, the lady sits upon the face of the giver who is kept busy by using all of his mouth to work on the genitals of the woman.
These are just a few of the positions that can be utilized during several cunnilingus sessions. There are so many other positions that are just too numerous to mention here.

Safety Issues

Even though it is a technique that brings intense pleasure, cunnilingus is also a medium via which diseases and infections can be transmitted. But the risk is considerably lower, especially when compared with other sex types like anal or vaginal sex.

However, the risk of contracting sexually-transmitted diseases via cunnilingus increases dramatically if the recipient has injuries on her private parts or if the giver has injuries or sores or bleeding in his or her mouth.

It is also advisable that before a session of cunnilingus starts, the recipient must have ensured that her state of personal hygiene is excellent. Clean shaving should be done if needed and the entire genital cleaned properly so the giver can also find the experience an amazing and interesting one.

Cunnilingus in History

Like many of the other forms of sex that have been associated with human beings from the beginning. Thus, it is very surprising to see that there are some people who look upon cunnilingus as if it is one recent sex style that was just discovered. That is not true because it has been with us for thousands of years even before the recording of history in human communities.

It is also interesting to point out that even though cunnilingus has survived and flourished over time, it has also received nothing but scorn in some other societies. While cunnilingus is glorified in ancient and modern China, it is frowned upon in modern Arabia. The areas where cunnilingus is frowned upon are mainly conservative areas of the globe where religion and cultural views have maximum influence on prevailing thoughts.

In some other places, the view evolved from one of condemnation to one of acceptance. This is what happened in Europe when many looked down upon cunnilingus as a sinful and devilish act during the Middle Ages. But as Europe entered the Renaissance, more people became more tolerant of not just cunnilingus but also other forms of sexual styles and that trend has continued till today.

Interesting Things about Cunnilingus

• There is actually a name for someone who does cunnilingus and as you might have guessed, it is cunnilinguist. It sounds very sexy and cute though.
• In different parts of the globe, there are different funny slangs for cunnilingus. These include la plate, lip service or carpet munching.
• Menstruation does not stop a woman from enjoying cunnilingus but it must be said that it increases the risk of sexually-transmitted diseases should it happen that the woman is infected.
• To get the best out of cunnilingus, do not rush at all. It is best you take your time and get everything done gradually. Women actually do prefer it if you let them feel comfortable first while you then build up the sexual tension in them gradually. Do not just rush and go straight for the clitoris. Caress her body and play with other parts of her body first. You will be very glad you did.
• You can actually maximize the feeling of orgasm if you pull her legs closer once you notice that she is about to ‘come’. Maintain the same pace and rhythm of your actions as you gently guide her towards the highest level of ecstasy.
• To get the best out of cunnilingus and make the woman really feel all the joy in the activity, you need to be a master at reading her body and all the non-verbal clues that she is sending out. Your ability to observe her body and all her reactions to your stimulations as the giver is going to give you a better idea of how to make her have the deepest sensations possible. Learn to focus fully on your partner during cunnilingus and you are going to find the experience very worthwhile for not just her but also for you as well.
• It goes a long way to compliment your partner and let her know that you actually appreciate her great body, let her know how beautiful she is. It is best to mouth these words as you are ‘eating’ her up or when she is about to enter the phase of orgasm.
• In some women who are incredibly flexible and athletic, they can get to perform cunnilingus on themselves. This is a very rare case and it is known as autocunnilingus.
• The views concerning cunnilingus all over the globe vary from place to place. For example, there are some regions where cunnilingus is almost deified and there are some other places where it is considered to be a sacrilege. Culture, religion and social norms play a lot of roles in determining how people view cunnilingus.
• In China, cunnilingus is highly-revered not just as a type of sexual activity but also as a very spiritual experience.
• Virgins engaging in cunnilingus are considered to still have their virginity intact as long as there is no vaginal penetration.

If there is any phenomenon that has managed to grab the attention of all of humanity from the beginning of time to date and very well till the end of time, it is sex. In fact, sex is so influential in human societies that today, it is often said in the business and advertising world: sex sells. Sex comes in different forms and of these forms we are going to be focusing on blow jobs in this piece. By the time you are done with this piece, you will be a mobile encyclopedia on blow jobs.

What is a Blow Job?

Well, for those who are late to the party, a blow job is actually a slang term used to describe a type of oral sex. Also called sucking off, fellatio, giving head, or just BJ, a blow job is a form of oral sex in which the mouth alongside the teeth, lips, and tongue or even the throat in most cases, are used for the sexual stimulation and arousal of the male genitals of a sexual partner.

In some other contexts, the oral stimulation of the skin around the penis (better known as scrotum) can be referred to as a blow job too or in street lingua, teabagging. If the blow job is performed on the man by himself, as seen in some very flexible people, then it is referred to as autofellatio.

Although the focus of a blow job is the man receiving all the oral stimulation, the sexual arousal is often for both parties and the two lovers can reach climax even though it is one person who is being ‘sucked’. In many instances, a blow job is actually taken as a part of foreplay before the act of vaginal or anal penetration. However, that is not to say that a blow job cannot qualify as a sexual act all by itself.

History of Blow Jobs

Like other forms of sexual activity in human societies, blow jobs have been with us from the earliest times. However, as you might have imagined, different societies looked upon blow jobs with differing opinions. Even though it is accepted warmly and even encouraged in many societies all over the globe, there are some other societies that adopt a very hostile view regarding blow jobs.

They often base this stance on religious and/or cultural justifications. For example, some religious sects consider blow jobs forbidden because as far as they are concerned, it is an act of sexual performance that does not lead to procreation.

As it is with other forms of sexual activities, the term fellatio in English was actually derived from the Latin verb ‘fellatus’ which describes the process of sucking. However, today, it is better referred to as blow jobs and not fellatio which is now seen as a more academic description of the act.

As far back as the time, the legendary Kama Sutra was written in ancient India, blow jobs were already widespread. This is well documented in not just the Kama Sutra but in other ancient records too. From ancient records in Papua New Guinea to the ones from China, all pointed to the same thing: blow jobs have always been with us.

How Are Blow Jobs Done?

Very pleasant for both partners, blow jobs often result in you and your lover achieving orgasm and releasing semen during the process. In many cases, blow jobs are given as a way of foreplay to sexually stimulate the other side before there is any penetration via the anus or vagina or any other form of sexual activity that they so decide upon. As stated earlier, a blow job can stand on its own as a sexual activity.

So, how precisely is a blow job done? Well, the most important part of a blow job is the stage where the recipient has the penis inside the mouth. But that is not all, that is just the starting point. Once the penis is secure in the mouth, the next thing that is to be done is to move the mouth, lips or tongue all over the penis. This is done in a way that seeks to replicate the usual thrusting movements in a typical vaginal or anal intercourse.

The only difference here is that instead of the vagina or the anus, the mouth opening will serve as the channel of the thrusting. Saliva and other secretions from the mouth serve as the lubricant in this case. The person giving the blow job has to be cautious so that he or she does not end up biting the penis or hurting the genitals in any way with the teeth.

As for the male recipient of the blow job, he also has a role to play and should not just lie down passively and do nothing. The male recipient also has a role to play. He can determine the rhythm and depth of the blow job by grabbing the head of the giver and adjusting all the moves. Another thing that can be done is for the penis to not just be sucked but also licked and kissed. Different moves can be made using the lips, tongue, and throat.

The scrotum must also not be left out of the action. In fact, a session of blow job cannot be said to be complete without the inclusion of the scrotum. The scrotum should also be sucked, licked, kissed and titillated with the tongue all over. When all these are going on, it is common to see the man get so aroused that he ends up ejaculating and releasing the semen into the mouth of the giver and this can also spill onto their face in the process. When the ejaculation onto the face of the giver, it is referred to as a facial and it is actually quite common as a sexual act. For some men, nothing gives them greater joy than engaging in a facial while for some other men, their joy is maximized when the lady sucks up all of their ejaculated semen.

Another aspect of blow job that should be mentioned here is when the giver takes up all the entire length of the penis and sucks it all up into her throat then gives it a proper sucking. This leads to very intense sensations of pleasure in the man and it is known as deep throating. In deep throating, the recipient is often the one in control. He can move the entire penile tissue as he wants and he can also hold on to the head of the giver and control the depth of the penetration into the throat of the giver. It is important to state that the sensation that a man gets when having a blow job is totally different from the one he gets when engaging in vaginal or anal intercourse.

As interesting as this is, it should be stated here that actually not everyone can give a blow job. This is due to the gag reflex which makes them unable to control the contractions at the back of the throat. The best people who give blow jobs and go all the way with deep throating are those who have been able to master and control the gag reflex.

Tips on How to Get Blow Jobs Right

Although blow jobs sound pretty easy and straightforward, you also need to do them right so as to achieve the goals of pleasure for yourself and the partner. Here are some tips that can help:

Balls

Well, the testicles are often involved in blow jobs. However, do not assume that the same thing works out for your man. Because testicles are some of the most sensitive parts of a man’s body, not all men are comfortable with you involving their balls, they just cannot cope with the heightened sensation. For these men, they are often okay with you just handling the penis alone. So, you should ask before you go playing with those balls.

Communicate

Either you are the giver or the recipient, it is important that you maintain communication at every stage of a blow job. In doing so, you are able to focus and know when everything is going on right and also when to stop or change course.

Forepla

Although a blow job is in itself considered to be a type of foreplay, that does not stop you from actually engaging in foreplay before you start the blow job. Touch the man’s nipples, kiss him behind the neck, fondle his breasts and set his body in the mood. Let him be in suspense as he anticipates the moment you put all of his penile glory inside your gaping throat.

Safety Issues

As it is with other forms of sexual activities, blow jobs too also have their own inherent risks. It is very possible for one to contract several sexually-transmitted diseases and infections. But it must be quickly pointed out that the risk of contracting an STD via a blow job is remarkably lower than in the case of vaginal and anal penetration. This is particularly true in viral infections like that of the human immunodeficiency virus.

That said, several other diseases like gonorrhea, hepatitis, herpes, chlamydia can be spread via oral sex. In fact, the risk is heightened if it happens that the recipient has cuts or injuries on his private parts. The same thing happens if the giver of the blow job has sores and all kinds of cuts or wounds in his or her mouth. Even the slightest cut or opening in the oral mucosa can remarkably increase the risk of coming down with one infection or the other. In a case where you are not sure about safety of the whole thing, it is advisable to make use of barrier methods such as condoms. It is always better to be safe than sorry at the end of it all.

Benefits of Blow Jobs

• Apart from the apparent benefit of pleasure for both partners, another advantage of blow jobs is that they can assist in stabilizing a marriage or a relationship. For example, when a lady is pregnant and it becomes either uncomfortable to have regular vaginal sex with her, she and her partner can opt for blow jobs. Another instance is where a lady is not ready to lose her virginity but also wants to meet the sexual demands of her partner, both can reach a middle ground and go for blow jobs – the man is happy and the lady has her virginity intact.
• Blow jobs are very good when a couple is interested in having some sexual pleasure but do not want the problem of pregnancy. This is very possible because even when a lady swallows all the ejaculated sperm from the man, there is absolutely no way she is going to get pregnant that way. This is because the digestive tract is totally different from the female reproductive system where the womb and other organs needed to sustain a pregnancy are. That aside, semen is mainly protein and is broken down by several enzymes in the digestive system. So, there is even no way for the sperms to survive swallowing in the first place.
• Blow jobs are the best when a man wants a quickie or something very casual but intense too. Blow jobs are so good that couples can even do it in a matter of minutes while inside a lift. All the man has to do is to fly his zippers and in a minute or two, he is done. Blow jobs can be done pretty much anywhere as there is no need for any elaborate preparation. The lady too does not need to remove her dress or anything.

It is the apparent ease with which blow jobs can be done that made some countries to have laws against having blow jobs in public spaces – but that has not some people from giving blow jobs to their partners even while driving.